based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
