in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
