it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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