we have officially lost it.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
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im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
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Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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