And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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