I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
