i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think my moral compass just broke
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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