we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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