I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
