You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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