the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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