Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
