so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
