I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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