How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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