Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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