no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
