I have demons in me.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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