i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
