that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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