So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I have tasted many bathrooms
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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