It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
