She's JV to your varsity
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
