Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
