you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
