I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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