So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
