And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
