I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
