but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
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You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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