Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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