Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
