I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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