Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
