Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
