idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just had sex on a roof
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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