You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
