Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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