Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
