the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
