I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
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He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
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Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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