so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
