she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
