Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
