I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
