kristin has been a bad kristin
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
