I wannas sexs uuuuu
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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