Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My hand turned me down
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
