Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
