it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
