As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
