guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
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As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
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He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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