I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize