Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
