all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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