never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
