He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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