I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize