i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
