Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize