Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize