i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
