Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
