I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
