I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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