Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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