Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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