mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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